“Confession” (A Poem)

For many of Catholics, the going to confession regularly might seem like a chore to be checked off at best and an awkward or even intimating event to be avoided at worst. For me, however, this sacrament has become one of the most beautiful, encouraging and liberated experiences of my life…so much so that I desire to receive this special “soul-cleansing” after a careful examination of conscience at least every month or so! Our Blessed Mother, in her many messages to the visionaries of Medjugorje has encouraged the faithful to partake in the immense graces which monthly confession brings us! And as Mother Angelica used to say (paraphrasing), “If you don’t polish yourself often, you get dim and dull!” Thus, the following poem delves a little deeper into the mystery of this gift…with a glimpse of my thoughts beforehand and afterward! After all, there is nothing that can quite compare to the feeling of shedding all that holds us back from holiness and happiness and being made into a new creation in Christ, through the person of His priestly representative. May He, Who loved you into existence, show you personally how very far the depths of Infinite Mercy will go to swallow up every last one of your faults and failures and hold you ever closer to His yearning and burning Eucharistic Heart! Amen! Enjoy!

JMJ

“Confession”

I step in
Sullied and steeped in sin

I step out
Fully and freely forgiven

I step in
Lips quivering
Limbs shivering
Head shaking
Hands quaking
Heart pumping, pulsating, palpitating

I step out
An old smile showing
Once glazed over eyes now glowing
A cold and restless heart slowing and warming
And a golden horizon of infinite possibilities flowing;
Hope is regrowing and reforming

I step in
Downcast and distant, heavy and hardened by guilt and grief

I step out
Uplifted and undaunted, dazzled and dizzied by resilience and relief

I step in
Convicted, but lacking conviction
Am I really about to finally pour out my deepest and darkest secrets and addictions?
My biggest and baddest regrets and mistakes?

I step out
It is finished! It is complete!
Yet how could receiving something so sublime and surreal be so simple and sweet?
I guess a little good will and a lot of grace is truly all it takes!

I step in
Scared and scarcely able to speak
For my many seemingly “insignificant” and “inconsequential” sins have snuffed out all the life in me until I’ve become bitter, burdened, broken, and bleak…
Yet the festering wounds that they’ve caused can no longer remain stealthily concealed; in order for them to be thoroughly healed, it is past time for the whole Truth to be bravely revealed, and so here, in this quiet Confessional, I have nervously kneeled
Indeed, the spirit is willing, but flesh is weak
Though I cannot change the past, with the greatest of God’s gifts, my free will in this present moment, it is redemption and reconciliation with Him I now seek

I step out
Humbled and humming a hallelujah song
For Jesus has entirely incinerated my every wrong
In the passionate flames of His Sacred Heart, which burn so bright and so strong
Though my future will be forever transfigured and transformed, it wasn’t my own dreams and designs, but His all along
Indeed, I have placed all my faith, all my hope, and all my love in nothing and no one but God, for I am once again His beautiful and beloved prodigal son, and to Him alone do I belong

I step in
Worrying over how many people I have hurt by my unkindness, unforgiveness, and unwillingness to let go of my pleasures, my plans, my pride
I have cheated, I have stolen, I have gossiped, I have lied
And it has cost me too much precious time and peace of mind to continue to try to justify, deny, criticize, and hide

I step out
Wondering how many people I can help by my everyday efforts in prayer, positivity, service, and sacrifice too
Yes, there has been so much good left undone and yet, how much good there is still left to do!
For every waking moment is a unique opportunity to let Christ’s love, laughter, and light shine through!

I step in
Still frantically trying to prepare
Tempted and tormented by the demons I’ve let in to enslave and ensnare
Yet surrounded and sustained by the Lord’s vigilant protection and tender care
For in my lowest and loneliest of moments, when I wasn’t even awake or aware
He was holding my hand, drying my tears, caressing my hair
Yes, He was always there

I step out
As though from a gentle “soul shower”
Rinsed and released of from the grip of the evil enemy, who has been chained back to hell and detained from all power
While this new, pure, childlike heart beating from within has become a haven for all of Heaven and a throne for the King of the Universe once again! And from now on, He will silently direct me and slowly perfect me therein, day after day and hour by hour

I step in
Feeling dirty, dark, and desperate
Longing and languishing for a clear conscience, a fresh start, a blank slate
For if I were to die unrepentant in this state
Everlasting death, despair, and darkness may very well be my fate…
But thank God Almighty, it’s not too late!

I step out
Feeling filled, freed, and floored
For my soul’s original baptismal innocence has been altogether restored!
And all of the angels and saints are rejoicing all the more
Since if this were my last breath, I would instantly and effortlessly soar
Toward the boundless bliss and beauty of celestial palaces and planets, villages and vineyards, ships and shores
Awaiting me in an eternity of exhilarating adventures and intoxicating intimacy with my vast, heavenly family, with my Blessed Mother Mary, and above all, with my Bridegroom, my Beloved, my Lord

I step in
And with one last prayer and deep breath of courage from within
I make my confession
Leaving no stone left unturned, no sin left hidden
Even the ones I have selfishly and stubbornly committed over and over again…
Finally, when I have reached the very end
I fall to my knees and recite a heartfelt “Act of Contrition”
Professing my deep desire to do all I can to make amends
And my sincere sorrow for the pain I have inflicted upon myself, upon others, and upon My Crucified Savior, Who has been brutally beaten, bloodied, and bruised, outside and in
And then
Comes the Voice, not of a mean judge but of a merciful Friend:
“I absolve you from your sins
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

I step out
And I am alive! I am made new! I am washed clean! I am set free!
Because now, it is no longer I who live, but Christ Who lives in me

Poem written by “Little Gregory” on 12/8/2020, Feast of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary

Verse: “If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing” (1 John 1:9).

Quote: “I tell you, dear child, that the truth cannot be denied. I am the Truth. And I love you beyond anything you can imagine. My only wish is to you back to Me, where I might protect you. Do not be afraid. You will not be punished for your misdeeds. Come back to Me now and I will pardon your sins. We will proceed together as though these sins had never been committed. Sins leave a certain residue on a soul. Come to Me now, My beloved child, and with a heavenly breath, I will blow away the residue of sin so your soul proceeds in joy and newness. I am your God. I love you. That will never change.” -Jesus on August 21st, 2003 via ‘Anne, apostle of the Returning King’ in Volume 2: Conversations with the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus

Song: “Clean” by Natalie Grant: